THE MOON

Brooke Van Poppelen moved to New York from Chicago five years ago and since then neither has been the same. Mostly due to the inevitable change that will happen to a city within that large amount of time, but also because New York has snatched another great comedian from Chicago’s windy bosom. Speaking of windy bosoms, check out that picture of her. I asked her some pretty okay questions and she responded in kind. 

Congrats on your Best Female Stand Up nomination at this year’s ECNY Awards. You have previously been nominated for Best Emerging Comic. How do you feel to finally be recognized as a female? 
I went to a lot of trouble to grow my hair out and learn how to put on make-up so I would stop being nominated as “best male comic.”

In what ways do you feel you’ve officially emerged?
Well, now we’re being recognized as “excellent” instead of “emerging” so I guess that says it all! 

Do you find it at all… shall we say… sexist that the Best Male category in any awards show is always above Best Female? 
I like being on the bottom. 
 
Very sexi…st. If you win Best Female Stand Up, are you going to go for Best Male Stand Up next year?
Well, it’s useless trying to convince people that I have huge balls because I have started doing so much huge vagina material as of late.

Who is the coolest person you’ve opened for?
Rob Riggle, Hannibal Buress, and I loved working with Eddie Brill and Rick Overton as well as Jake Johannsen.  

Who is the coolest person who’s opened for you?
Anyone who goes up before me at Puppets Mic in Park Slope—-what an awesome group of open mic-goers! 
 
Whoa, sounds like someone’s a shareholder at Puppets. What brought you to New York from Chicago, and what makes you stay here - besides Magnolia Bakery on the Sex and the City tour?
I came out here for a Montreal audition 5 years ago and canceled my return flight. It was one of the most exhilarating things I have ever done. Reality of course caught up with me eventually and I had to return to Chicago to clean up some unfinished business (divorce, etc.) before I could come back properly but it’s been a really tremendous 5 years in this city so far.

“Divorce, etc.” is a great name for a TV show, or anything really.
Has the NYC comedy scene developed since you started here? 
I’ve seen a lot of transitions in 5 years but they’ve all been awesome. It’s so cool to see people go from unknown to well-known to stars! I hope I can ride those people’s coat tails! 

That phrase always makes me wish more people wore coat tails these days. Besides saying jokes in front of people, you are what the kids call a “blogger.” By this I mean you write things for the internet. How has your relationship with the internet been? 
I love the intertube. It’s a damnable habit but it’s also responsible for keeping me employed. 
 
You blog about dumb stuff that dumb people do, like testing stab-proof vests with your friends, and hiding a chainsaw in your pants. (Presumably both those things were done to impress girls, or emergency room surgeons) What is the dumbest thing you’ve done recently?
I’ve been pretty good, but I was just trying to impress a guy the other day by telling him about my behavior at a BBQ this past summer when we ran out of buns so I shoved a char grilled Hebrew National hot dog through the center of a cream filled Krispy Creme Doughnut and ate it like that. Fucking delicious! 

If we were on Facebook I wouldn’t totally Liked that.
You call your personal blog “New York Is Retarded,” which is offensive to me because my family’s state, Connecticut, is actually retarded. What gives you the right to call New York R*tarded, and what exactly do you mean?
I haven’t touched that blog in a while. It’s kind of regrettable name that I gave it back in 2007 before Jennifer Aniston was publicly shamed for using the “R” word. It’s a little insensitive but the theme of the blog is about my never-ending battle me vs. NYC and how NYC usually wins. 

That concludes the “ur a blogger” portion of the questions. Back to the heart of things - you were on American Chopper. So you can probably die happy, or at least die knowing you were on American Chopper. Please tell me about that. All about it. Did you become cooler? Were forced to be a biker wench? Were you at least made queen of the bikers? 
I actually had a ton of fun hanging out with Mikey and giving him comedy pointers. He’s a total riot and has a really big heart. We had a good time in the city and then I got the chance to chill with him upstate NY. He owns a really beautiful home out in the woods and we partied with some crazy biker dudes who are his dad’s acquaintances. Quite the night.

The words “some crazy biker dudes” and “dad’s acquaintances” need to be in more sentences in my life.
Your profile on rooftopcomedy.com says “she dares you to heckle her.” Is that really something you want to be daring people? I’d rather you dare me to kiss a cute girl sitting close to me.
OH MY GOD. I wrote that in 2004. That needs to come down. Gross. 

BOOOO - that was me heckling whatever your answer is. Deal with that. 
I don’t deal. I crumble under heckle pressure. 
 
Finally, can you tell me one joke that you’ve written that you’d never tell on stage (whether because it’s not good, or because it’s way too offensive, or because you wrote it when you were 8, or whatever)?
I just wrote a bunch of monologue jokes which sound weird coming out of my mouth so technically you would probably never hear me tell a joke like this even though I think it’s clever:  To make extra money, this year many stylists in Manhattan split time between Fashion Week and The Westminster Dog Show. When asked how she was hired for both jobs, one stylist replied, “It’s simple. I know how to make bitches look good.”

Two bitches with one stone. Well done.
And finally, if you could eat a sandwich with any celebrity alive or dead, what sandwich would you eat? 
Classic Pork/Pate’ Vietnamese Bahn mi 

I also love Bahn mi. I like to say “you can’t ban me from Bahn Mi.” Wait, I’ve never said that and never will. But thank for you inspiring my lunch options today. 

Brooke writes for TruTV’s “Dumb as a Blog”, has a tumblr and is generally present on the web. You can see her on Heart of Darkness w/ Greg Barris and more at Union Hall, Saturday March 5th and at SXSW Festival.

Brooke made her second appearance on The Moon’s 52nd show with Josh Gaurino, Jared Logan and Ben Lerman. 

-Jordan Clifford